HOW TO HANDLE A REJECTION LETTER

Dear Hiring Manager:

Thank you for your letter of March 1. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your companies outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August.

I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Interviewee


MEMORABLE INTERVIEWS

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred larges corporations ware asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees:

* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
* Candidate fell and broke his arm during the interview.
* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the iterviewers office.
* Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
* Balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
* Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
* Applicant interrupted the interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
* Candiate brought a large dog to the interview and begfan showing off the "tricks" it could do.
* Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on going through the interview while standing up.
* Candidate dozed off during the interview and had to be awakened by the interviewer.

The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates:

* "What is it that you people do at this company?"
* "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
* "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
* "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
* "Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
* "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
* "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
* "Why am I here?"
* "Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"

Also included are a number of unusual statement made by candidates during the interview process.

* "I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement."
* "At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking."
* "I feel uneasy indoors."
* "Sometimes I feel like smashing things."
* "I get excited very easily."
* "Once a week, I usually feel hot all over."
* "I am fascinated by fire."
* "If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back."
* "I like tall women."
* "If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."
* "People are always watching me."
* "Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct."
* "I never get hungry."


"IN MY DAY..."

The Washington Post Report from Week 228, in which you were asked to tell Gen-Xers how much harder you had it in the old days:

* In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. --(Bill Flavin, Alexandria)
* In my day, we didn't have days. There was only time for work, time for prayer and time for sleep. The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change. --(Elden Carnahan, Laural)
* In my day, people could only dream of hitchhiking a ride on a comet. --(David Ronks, Charlottesville)
* In my day, we didn't have Strom Thrumond. Oh wait. Yes we did. --(Peg Sheeran, Vienna)
* In my day, we wore our pants up around our armpits. Monstrous wedgies, but we looked snappy. --(Bruce Evans, Washington)
* In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him. --(Sarah Wolford, Hanover



email: chip@rubberchickenforthesoul.com